Lauren Graham was volunteered by her father to speak at the 2017 commencement speech of her high school, Langley High. Even as an accomplished actor, she felt nervous to speak at the commencement, especially following Will Farrell’s speech the prior year. She recalls a time when she auditioned for a school play, after already having had lead roles in other productions, and “flopped.” She didn’t get the main role because her nerves took over, and she felt pressure to succeed instead of hoping for a great role and having fun. Then, in her moment of disappointment, she was approached by another student who offered to take that supporting role off her hands if she didn’t want it. In that moment she recognized that her “failure” was another’s success.

In an effort to not let my own nerves take over, I’ve gotten into the practice of mindfulness. When I’m uncomfortable, I take a deep breath and pause for a moment. I try to name what I’m feeling, and validate that I’m feeling the way that I am. Then I ask myself “does this feeling serve me?” At the end of the day, you’re entitled to feel however you want. Happy, mad, resentful, proud, guilty… but if that feeling doesn’t serve you, then you’re working against yourself. Even when the circumstances are the same, shifting the narrative for yourself can make all the difference in the world. What if you don’t fail? What if you succeed? Even in the moments when you feel the most powerless, you always have a choice. You may not be able to change others, but you can change the way you talk to yourself.

Hope isn’t just for high school graduates. Nerves aren’t just for novices. You’re never too old to change things for the better, or to strive for something more than where you are. There’s no shame or ego in enjoying life and experiences and accomplishments. There’s also no shame in being satisfied with where you are. If you’re happy, then I’ll meet you where you are and celebrate alongside you.

And for me, on my journey, I’ve realized that at the end of the day I’m not for everyone. The things I share aren’t for everyone either, but that doesn’t diminish my own self worth. Hopefully, the things I’m saying here are resonating with you in some way, and if they’re not, that’s ok too. If I can leave you with anything, I’ll align myself with Lauren Graham’s sentiment: be kind to yourself. Try to recognize when your expectations of yourself may go far beyond what others expect of you, and give yourself some grace. Often times, we’re our own harshest critics. Any accomplishment is worth celebrating. Try to enjoy your own unique journey.

and In Conclusion, Don’t Worry About It.