I read an article on Huff Post today about “Affirmations for the Alpha,” and I thought to myself, yup, that’s me. Which is maybe a bit funny, considering I’ve been in a relationship with a strong, amazing man for the last 8 years. Or maybe that’s not funny, but just the way I was conditioned. To think that being a strong, independent woman meant being alone, which I now know not to be the case.
I could ramble on about my previous relationships, in which I was talked down to or treated badly. They happened, and they were awful, but that’s not what this is about. Too many of us have had those experiences, and I salute each of us who has overcome them.
This is about what it really means to be an Alpha vs a Feminist, and throwing away the connotations that hold us back from proudly declaring those things.
I went to an all girls high school, and at the time, being labeled a feminist (to me) meant hairy armpits and long skirts. It was a pseudo hippie image to me, and I was not about it. I was a rebel. I cut class and smoked in the local coffee shop. I wasn’t taking any shit from anyone, but it didn’t mean that I didn’t want a boyfriend, and I most definitely shaved my armpits.
As I grow older, I am realizing that there are many types of feminism and that being an Alpha is actually separate from that. A woman can stand up for herself and be an Alpha without standing up for women as a whole. A woman can also stand up for all women without standing up for herself. The paradox is that self-esteem and confidence SHOULD go hand in hand, but often times they don’t.
Right now, I identify as a feminist, especially when it comes to debates over public policy and reproductive rights. Maybe that will change someday, but I doubt it. I think that being an Alpha has allowed me to come into my own as a human being, and that I also happen to be a feminist because in my head, why wouldn’t I want to stand up for my own rights as a woman and all the other women out there?
Check out the thought-provoking and inspiring article on being an Alpha here: